Paula Goldstein

Facebook Forced Me to Buy These Shoes

Paula Goldstein
Facebook Forced Me to Buy These Shoes

About a month ago Facebook AI bots read my messages on a particularly subjective morning. And suddenly, breaking up the stream stories of "Ways Trump Has Fucked Up America Today", were these cute little Everlane everyday shoes. I was pondering the question of what to pack for London and clicked. This move opened the Pandora's box and their masterful targeted advertising spoke to me everywhere I went, even when interrupting when I was amusing myself reading the comments on reports of the fall of Bannon or Brietbart.

Lo and behold, and yes I know how depressingly millennial it makes me - I eventually ordered a pair. They arrived just before I left for London, and I threw them in my case mostly just because they were new, and I thought I had more shoes at my Mothers house so didn't pack much else. 

However, by the third day of vacation, I realized I had found them- the unicorn -  a comfy, chic, every outfit, everywhere shoe. Soft with elastic to stop your foot sliding or rubbing, with the perfect low front and little heel to stop you looking like you have cankles.  

Shoes have to be biggest pain when it comes to packing. They are clunky, they weigh a ton, and they are the only thing that can’t take part in my much lauded “rolled clothing” technique. 

I knew the key was the good all rounder magic shoe thing. You know like my French girlfriends have because they don’t wear sneakers. Like truly, I have never seen one of those women ever wear them... Do you even own sneakers? Do you go to spin class in chic suede Repetto’s? 

Deep down, I knew they all had a midi heel pump that was lacking from my vast and seemingly extravagant single utility collection of footwear. Yet every time I would go out for a pair of practical “does it all” shoes, I’d acquire some sort of Disney collaboration vans or odd patent brogues that made me look like my grandfather.

The much needed “City Break Shoe" seemed to be an imaginary object in my life (or so I thought). This was until Facebook met the marketing team at Everlane.

So thank you guys for this abuse of my data - it worked out like a dream. But please, please stop trying to make me buy weird baby clothes and food subscriptions - I'm good, I promise.

But to everyone else... get these shoes!! They are goddamn perfect and only $145 - which normally is what I spend on excess baggage.